I was listening to my radio sermons yesterday and Dr. David Jeremiah said to write down our testimony. I've never really given much thought to my testimony because there wasn't anything extraordinary about it. But that doesn't mean there isn't any worth in it. So I am going to share it with you.
I was born into a Christian family through and through. My family has lived in the faith for generations. So, from an early age I was emerged in the knowledge of Christ. I knew Jesus came as the ultimate sacrifice to save us from our sins, and that to be saved I had to believe in him and ask for his forgiveness. But even though I knew this, I never asked Jesus into my life as my savior.
In sixth grade I went through a drastic change in my personality. I think all the bullies, the frustration of my appearance, and just the awkward change of everything got to me. I started lying, stealing, and hanging out with the "dark" crowd (it was the dawn of the Goth period). I isolated myself from my family and friends and experienced intense anger and depression. For some reason during that time, I started to read the bible. I don't know what the reason was. I think I just wanted to read something, and it was the most convenient at the time. Anyway, when I read it, I was convicted with what I was doing. I felt intense guilt for the way I treated my parents, the way I treated my teachers and friends. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I wanted to change it. I knew that I couldn't live life on my own like this, and I needed someone to save me, lift me up, and deliver me. After a few months of reading the Bible I decided I needed to ask Jesus into my heart. My life changed after that. I understood what Joy was. I was free and forgiven. I lost some of my friends, but I gained healthier ones. The frustration and depression and anger went away. I realized I didn't have to live life on my own. There was so much comfort in that thought: that I had a Father who would provide for me and protect me always and forever, spiritually and physically. Anyway, that was my turning point. I know it isn't a world shaking testimony, but maybe it helped someone. =)
***Since I am witnessing anyway, I do want to say something that has happened to me recently.
Senior year of high school through college was another low point in my life. I deserted God. I thought if I pretend that I didn't recognize him, if I ignored what he said, if I didn't think about him, He wouldn't ask me to do something I didn’t want to do. I thought that I could avoid him, so I could do what I wanted. I was a fool. I haven't gone through that much turmoil, depression, or loneliness since I was little. It breaks my heart now to think of it, how much pain I put myself through needlessly.
When I graduated I had an epiphany about my lifestyle. I think you have seen that through this blog… Anyway what I realized through that time is that God never deserted me, and he will never desert you. His arms are always open. If you seek him, he will answer you. If you ask for guidance like the amazing king David, our Heavenly Shepard will direct your feet and light your path. I know now that I don't have anything to fear, there is nothing God can't accomplish or do. It's okay to have fears: that’s normal. What is important is what you do with them. You don't have to live in fear. Think about all the Psalms that David wrote (sorry I am on a David kick right now). When he was being pursued by Saul, he wrote numerous Psalms about his fears, but he gave them all to the Lord and he knew the Lord would make the righteous triumph and God did.
I think if I could tell you anything about God I would want you to know this: You are his creation. He loves you more than anything else in the universe, that's why he sent his own son to die for you. He only has plans of good for you. He wants you to prosper and to be filled with joy, peace, love, patience, and self control. But the decision is yours. You have to choose that life, God won't force it on you. You are his beloved. All the promises he has given are ready for you to claim them. He never lies, he never does evil, he always keeps his promises. He is trustworthy and holy and a wonderful father. And he is waiting for you. All you have to do is ask.
<3 chelsey.
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