a week of meloncoly

Here we go. Tomorrow is the funeral of a precious three year old Teigan. She was shot in the head by her father on Father's day, then he shot himself. I only met her twice, the last time was at my brother's wedding. She was a flower girl. I don't understand the evil that took place. I don't understand how someone could get to that point to not only take his own life, but his child's. The only condolence was that she didn't see it coming. She was asleep.

Yesterday I was leaving my grandparents house, and my grandpa walked all the way to my car and motioned me to roll down my window. He stood there and said teary eyed that I was his favorite, and even when he is gone I always will be. I don't know how to respond to this. I don't. I know I am his favorite, and he is my favorite too. I just don't know how to talk to him... We talked about some of our memories together too. I can't come to terms with what is happening to him. I can't find it in myself to still see him as he is now. I think, as morbid as it is, that I have simply started to preserve him in my mind as he "was." I think that is why I can't talk to him anymore. I need to change this. I have to change it.

When I'm down like this, I am bombarded with all my regrets: all the way from elementary school. I am relentless in punishing myself. I do not want to live under the rocks of guilt and shame. I want to apologize for things, but how do you do that when it happened years ago? Especially if what I want to apologize for the person doesn't even remember?

Once I graduated I had an epiphany: It wasn't about the grades or how many awards I could rack up. School isn't a computer game. It is about relationships, loving people, and keeping peace with people. I zoomed past everything and everyone trying to accomplish the most and at the fastest pace. What did I gain from it? What did other people gain from it? I missed out on so many opportunities and relationships. I'm sorry. I want to make it my goal to stop speeding. I want to enjoy each day for what it is, and rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118.24

Henry Cavill

Does anyone else find this man absolutely gorgeous? He was almost batman in batman begins and almost Edward in twilight.

cocoabuttons!

AND SO, the moment I've been waiting and waiting to tell you about!

My mom and I started a store on Etsy.com. You need to check it out and tell everyone!

cocoabuttons.etsy.com

If you haven't heard about etsy, you need to check it out. It is a pretty amazing site with talented, imaginative people! Not to mention, you could get totally unique and one of a kind Christmas gifts there!!

Etsy is a site that allows people to sell homemade items or vintage items. Plus it's a very positive place all around. Check it out even if you don't like what we are selling! =)

=(

AION is a bust.

It's like WoW2, but with nicer applications. Like maps that show you exactly where you need to go and who you need to talk to. So for pve sake, it was slightly enjoyable. More so than normal.

They capped the characters at 20 for this beta and didn't tell us. So we worked our butts off to get to 25 so we could pvp. No luck. The skills are basic, boring, non imaginative. All the good skills are at 25 too, so you don't even get a taste of it. I guess this is to just figure out which character you want to play. I'm not sure. I don't think I will play in the next beta. Or buy it.

VBS

First day of Vacation Bible School was today! I am helping the second graders, and they totally blew my expectations out of the water. They are actually sweet kids! Well, most of them. The other kids I think are spoon fed sugar before they arrive.

Lets hope that tomorrow will be the same =)

Also, I learned that threatening to call a kid stinky the whole day if he doesn't write his real name on his name tag works well. Really well.

house blues

So the show "Property Virgin" is on tv right now, and it makes me sick to hear how much some homes are worth in other parts of the country.

Oh it also makes me sick to hear how much homes are selling here right now too. But anyway, for a 4 bedroom, open floor plan, huge kitchen with island, big backyard, and 3 car garage is 161,000. Not sure where, but it is green with lots of space.

S.I.C.K.

I guess I should look at California homes to put things into perspective. We could have paid 500k for our house. We could have paid 500k for our house. We could have paid 500k for our house.

Domo...

I have watched so much anime in the last five days, all I hear is Japanese. This must be how a baby feels. I just need a Japanese mama to identify what is what when I start babbling words.

arigatou crunchroll.com =)