a brief reflection

I have almost been married a month now. It feels weird living on my own and taking care of a grown man. It really hit me hard on our honeymoon when I realized I couldn't go back to childhood. I was super nervous about my relationship with my parents. I wasn't sure how it would be with them. Would they act the same? Luckily, they have.

So the last few weeks have been spent unpacking and putting things in the "perfect" spot, oh and shopping at the dollar store. By the way, the dollar tree store is an amazing place. They also have all sorts of cards (birthday, graduation, mothers day, thanks, ect.!) for 50 cents each! I love that store. Oh and tons of storage bins for a dollar. Anyway, life has been pretty lush. It is just hard to adjust. At least I feel like the house is home now.

I was unpacking boxes the other day that my mother had rashly boxed for me. I had about six childhood memory boxes filled with highschool notes, pictures, weird odd objects that had sentimental value, and love letters. It was hard going through it. However, I knew I had to get rid of half the stuff. And being the person I am, I threw it all in the recycle bin (since it was paper and all). The next day was recycle pick up and Ryan took the bin out that night to be collected. A huge wind storm blew through early morning. Our roof makes this eerie howling noise whenever there is high winds and it woke me up. I looked out the window and all the recycle cans were knocked over with paper flying out as if they had been freed from prison. I didn't really think anything of it at the time. When I finally made my way downstairs to the kitchen I looked out the window and saw my valentines day letters circling the yard as if they were dancing. I ran upstairs to get my shoes and then ran back out to the garage. The wind was so strong a cardboard box I tried to pick up was ripped from my hands and almost hit a car ten feet away. Long story short, I moved the recycle bin into the garage then wandered the streets collecting my memories out of bushes, front doorsteps, and gravel. I wanted to get rid of those things, but it really hurt to see them cast about in the wind, being taken to who knows where, where anyone could see my private young life. It put things into perspective too. Those things are gone and I am left with empty boxes to fill.

And yet at the same time I feel like I need to thank and say I love you to all my friends who had such an impact in my life: to people who filled my early days with such good memories. Thank you Ashley, Erik, Steve, Stephanies', Kim, Chuck, Ryans', Dusty, Kyle, Danielle, Sharon. And thank you.