Today I kept hoping to run into someone from my past. It's weird how I can live in this city and never see anyone I know when I go out. It makes me feel like either I don't know very many people, or there are just too many people. I've been nostalgic lately.
I found a really cool website called modcloth that has reasonably priced neat items. *drools over coats, skirts, and shoes* It has made me want to reinvent myself. And so the lust for new clothing has emerged again. I don't know why I listen to it though. I will buy the clothes, realize I don't look how I should look in them, then forget to wear them because they aren't comfortable. I think I am doomed to being drab because of self-image distortions. And I know the only reason I want to get these clothes is so I can pretend to be someone else who is control of her life and is cool.
I feel like my life line has been cut and I am drifting away from everything I know. It's weird feeling so unstable and distant. I don't know how to properly explain it. Ever since school ended, no before that, when high-school ended my life has just been unraveling. I have a great life, don't get me wrong. And I thoroughly enjoy it. But physiologically I am all over the place.
Being a modern housewife is difficult too. People, myself included, expect women to be productive and work. You know, SUPERWOMAN TO THE RESCUE! So when I have to answer that dreaded question "Oh and what do you do?" I feel horrible, ashamed, guilty, embarrassed to say "I'm a stay at home wife." My mom says I should answer with "Whatever I damn want."
Before you consider being a professional housewife too, consider the drawbacks:
1. It gets lonely unless you know other women who stay at home too
2. People who work at the grocery store will begin to call you by your first name
3. You have to resist the temptation to eat all day
4. While you get to sleep in, you do eventually have to get out of bed
5. Your income won't be as lucrative with only one paycheck
6. People will react strangely when you tell them what you do for a living
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